Teenage is the age of brimming youth, energy and  desire to achieve.  It is the phase when youngsters feel they can do anything and are pretty carefree with a burning desire to be independent.   This attitude is also accompanied by many significant changes – both body and mind – and also the way in which teenagers begin to relate with people in their immediate environments.  This is a stage when they build and establish relationship and the rules therein.  And that’s why it is important for parents to stand up to help them transition to adulthood through this challenging and yet fun-filled stage of life, successfully. This is the time to help build their solid foundations to a safe and sound future.

Many parents are in a rush to see the youngsters grow up and many teenagers are in a rush themselves to enjoy the “spoils of life”.  But what most people miss in this rush is, if you were to really sit down and speak patiently to a teenager at the right moment, and ask them what they are really going through, they will actually tell you some of their deepest secrets.  They are going through a hard time – so many expectations all over – from parents, teachers and also peers.  So much of emotional drama and the rush of all the feelings of so called love, heartbreaks etc.!!   They are at the junction of time where they don’t fully understand the realities but don’t really have enough time to explore it all without getting burnt.  ‘Damned if you do; ‘damned if you don’t! They must also excel and at the same time fit into others’ expectations.  It’s very demanding, very confusing and takes it toll.  Consequently, most end up hurting themselves and do not have the time to heal because they are in the race.  They carry these wounds for a long time and get disconnected from themselves and from God.

Here are some practical tips for parents on the role they can play to help tide over this exciting yet difficult phase of life.

Demonstrate that they are always your first priority (words are not enough!)

This means giving them proactive attention and not just when they seem to be in trouble or are sulking.  This includes participating in activities with them which help them win over their teachers and peers. Partner with them in their success and show them how both the success and the composure in failure are a result of a detached, Krishna Conscious approach.  Praising is as important as disciplining.  Remember they are trying as hard.  Help them seek spiritual strength to overcome challenges – and YOU practice what you preach!

Remove the burden of conformance

One of the most important points to remember is not to put undue pressure on your teenager to be like what you were or what you wish you were.  The only way to do this is to have a standard benchmark on bringing up children.  Take time to read Srila Prabhupada’s books, discuss with devotees and understand more on parenting in Krishna Consciousness.  Remember – every child is an independent ‘jiva’ (living being) with free will and the best you can do is to sincerely guide them.

“Tell me who your friends are; I will tell you who you are”

This is the Internet age and social media is pretty much a part of all our lives.  We cannot keep youngsters away from these exposures.  What you are surely do is monitor how they interact, who they make friends with and share tips on virtual medium etiquette and safety standards (like not sharing personal pics, locational details etc.).  Explain to them the benefits of making friends with like-minded teens who are also devotees.  Show them how they can take a leadership position in demonstrating good lifestyle and habits based on Krishna Consciousness principles.

A different Approach to Teen problems

“My way or the highway” approach never creates a positive, devotional environment at home or in life.  It deflects everyone from the common goal of connecting spiritually.  Professional therapists use a technique called reframing, in which you focus more on the triggers of a problem and the resultant behavior rather than focus on the person.  Like they say, “hate the sin; not the sinner”.   If you act positively different, you will get refreshingly different response from your youngster.  This is possible when you are in touch with Krishna Consciousness principles

Fear of Errors

Many times, parents are afraid for their teens for the mistakes they themselves may have committed during their younger days. They project their experiences and fears on a future that may not even occur.  This approach is very distressing for both the parent and the child.  Problematic situations will occur throughout our lives.  Our foundations is what will make a big difference both in terms of acceptance and remedy.  This preparation is possible when the underlying consciousness is on a higher platform.  It requires both the parent and child to connect through spiritual consciousness and be willing to adopt the golden words of enlightened souls.

Start today to make a difference in your own as well as your child’s life.  Understand the principles of Krishna Consciousness to cope well with stressful situations of life and also deal with unknown, potentially dangerous circumstances for you and your child.

Write to us on realfreedomwomen@outlook.com for further guidance

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