I read a quote somewhere:

‘A woman’s heart should be so hidden in God, that a man should be able to find it only if he comes through God.’

As a race, a society, and as a community, we have failed.  We have got our priorities very wrong.  Firstly, our parenting principles are grossly wrong.  Before any mundane education,  every parent should strive to give spiritual education to their child/children. 

Let’s break that down:

Every child – girl or boy – must be taught what love is and Who truly loves them before this life and after too.  Without connecting young minds to their true Source of love, parents are indoctrinating them into being in mundane relationships…so, no wonder we have so many breakups, divorces, and heartaches, especially with the contaminating, degrading effects of Kali yuga rapidly getting into our minds. 

Gen Xs to Gen Zs and onwards, all the generations are struggling/will further struggle if we don’t fix this NOW

WHATS HAPPENING….

गुरुर्न स स्यात्स्वजनो न स स्यात्
पिता न स स्याज्जननी न सा स्यात् ।
दैवं न तत्स्यान्न पतिश्च स स्या-
न्न मोचयेद्य: समुपेतमृत्युम् ॥

One who cannot deliver his dependents from the path of repeated birth and death should never become a spiritual master, a father, a husband, a mother or a worshipable demigod. (SB 5.5.18)

But, parents themselves have fallen deep into several desperate relationship myths/traps:

1. I should give my child what I didn’t have as a child. (No, you don’t need to). 
2. As long as my child is happy, let him/her do whatever he/she wants. (Greatest myth putting many youngsters into deep karmic mishaps)
3. I love my child unconditionally (No, you can’t, because the condition is laid out in the sloka above.  It may be conditional, but it’s real)
4. I need to fulfil all my child’s desires (No, you’re not Alladin’s genie.  You’re a parent – a representative of God in your child’s life.  Take it with gravity.)

These traps are creating sad old parents and dushkarmas in the society with extra marital affairs, pre-marital affairs, live-in relationships, and desperate, detrimental habits.

Yes, your child may not be interested or may not understand the meaning and the  purpose of love, and the interim arrangements (based on karma).  But letting them slide into the ‘rabbithole of Alice’s Wonderland’ is not the right parenting.  Because your/your child’s ‘Alice’s Wonderland’ is actually Krishna’s ‘duratyaya maya‘.  Alice got out of the rabbithole.  You or your child may not be able to.   So, to help your child, you must be out of the rabbithole first. 

WE ARE NOT THIS BODY

One principle that His Divine Grace AC Bhaktivedanta Swami Srila Prabhupada has hammered solid into his teachings from the word GO, is, “we are not this body”.  It is the simplest yet the most grave, difficult to comprehend/practice, and serious sutra and the beginning of any spiritual transformation. 

In kali yuga, we are witnessing, right in front of our eyes, the gross degradation of the quality of thoughts, actions, and lifestyle of parents and consequently the children.  While social media (SM) exposure at a very young age is impacting the minds of the children, parents themselves have succumbed to SM addiction.  This applies to both genders.  

With this steep decline in values and spiritual strength, trying to build a fabric of society based on outdated social systems will not work.  Men blaming women or women blaming men – both will not work.  So what’s the solution?

STOP objectifying women and trying to dumb them down.  And STOP making men the scapegoats for familial sense gratification (multiple sites, flats, cars etc).  They are reeling under that burden.

Give BOTH genders – but specifically women – the spiritual education from DAY 1, especially in this age.

Why women?  Let me elaborate.

Unless a soul in a female body learns how to love God and know that she is the part and parcel of That Supreme Man, she can never be a good woman or a wife to her earthly man.   Similarly,  unless a man acknowledges that a woman is God’s first and only then,  temporarily his, he can never be a good husband.   Every woman, without exception, should be given spiritual orientation and become a devotee of the Supreme Lord Krishna from a tender age.   She should be allowed to establish an INDEPENDENT and INTEGRAL relationship with Bhagavan.  Only then, she can bring bhagya in a man’s life.

We MUST move away from the concept of calling women ‘Lakshmi‘ and men as their ‘Narayana‘.   This is not only wrong but offensive as well and beats the principle of “no one is equal to or greater than Krishna” (and His Radharani).  Instead, give them a hopeful, plausible, and better  alternative of learning how each one is a  servant of the Lord and must help each other in their respective growth areas.

Devahuti was the daughter of Swayambhuva Manu himself and was chosen already by God, in her highest exalted mindset, and even graced her by being her Son.  She wasn’t a dumb woman who needed grooming becaue she was already rooted in her constitutional position of being a part and parcel of God.  Without this preset grace and glory, she’d have never been able to be a good wife to a great personality like Kardama muni. 

Unless women are elevated to their original spiritual potential point and helped to develop a one-on-one  relationship with God, by her parents, it’s inJustice to expect a healthy family or society, in kaliyuga.   If Lord Krishna, the Greatest feminist ever, didn’t discriminate against women, no one should. 

A PARENT’S ROLE ON TODAY’S DIFFICULT WORLD STAGE

Firstly, the parents must fortify themselves spiritually, be grounded in the very same spiritual principles and practice what they preach.  Secondly, teach BOTH boys and girls the importance of chanting the Holy Names of the Lord in this era.  Thirdly, and most importantly, teach your girls to become lovers of the Supreme Lord first and then, they will automatically do everything to love the man in their life. 

In this age, cooking and cleaning are mundane eventualities.  It will never be accepted going forward as an imprint on a woman’s identity.  That’s how you brew dissatisfaction in a society.   It is a role play.   If you teach them the WHY of it all, and root them in the eternal truth of who they’re truly subservient to, you’ll not find so much resistance from females to become women.  But unfortunately, we’re stuck with unjust extremes by parents.  They either treat girl children like a burden and make them disempowered and distant.  Or, they are artificially hyping up women’s independence and treating girls like boys without thinking of the consequences of not rooting a girl in spiritual values first.  If we collectively transform the gender notations and true identities of both, only then a woman will WILLINGLY accept guidance and protection from anyone.  Else, it is the playground of egos.  There’s no alternative to this. 

You cannot dumb down a woman to protect her.  Anyway, that’s not love.  Love is very rare in this world. Especially in kali yuga.  Mostly what we call love is involuntary or forced compromise and adjustments on the compulsions of lust.

We, as a society, should be neither matriarchal nor patriarchal.   We should be God-centric.  Then all the angas of the society will function like they should.  Men can no longer degrade a woman’s role at home nor women go berserk in their professional pursuits.   Being a servant then, is not something to resist but to aspire and fight for.  Right now because we think we don’t want to serve our families, we are glorifying serving corporate honchos and making money for them and earn a miniscule portion of it. 

But, servants we are – if that’s even a derogatory thing.  On the other hand great exalted personalities YEARN for the position fo the servant of God.  Let that sink in.

Every soul has service-orientation already embedded in it.  We need to inspire it to blossom on its own.  Not yank it out of the soul through dumb-down methods or subjugation – karma notwithstanding.